Tomorrow I start my new prescriptions: an upped dose of my antidepressants to ween me onto double of my current dose, but more importantly ADHD meds (sparkle sparkle).
So I'd like to take a moment to note how I've been doing to have a more direct before and after.
As of the last couple of days I've been extremely tired and listless--whether that's despite eating well or because I've been eating well, I'm not sure. Focus has been as hard as ever because of that since the effort involved in doing things usually involves moving and wanting to get up. Anxiety has been weird to say the least. Only had one day in the past 2 week where getting out of bed felt Evil and scary. My appetite is good at least, which I'm savouring before it gets fucking destroyed in the next couple of weeks.
What I'm not looking forward to is doing all of this with the audience of a lot more people than usual. I'm back in my hometown, I've got extended family staying over until Saturday, and I've already made plans to see all my hometown friends next week. So this will be Fun time trying to exist on what I'm thinking will be hard mode for the next hot minute. Less so hard mode, but like when you eat a mushroom in a videogame and the screen goes all wonky. Honestly that's what dealing with the shitty side effects of getting used to new dosages feels like to me.
The only thing that I'm a little anxious about right now is that I've been hearing that the specific meds I'm going on has a tendency to kind of take the spark out of people. I mean generally that's what I've heard about people going onto ADHD meds. Which is interesting unto itself. I already feel like my personality has shifted a bit since going onto antidepressants, so while I'm definitely interested in seeing what happens to me on the new drug cocktail.
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