Unraveling My Mind and 2 Goddamn Projects Because I'm Bad at Judging Yarn Lengths

I think the anxiety is mostly the meds. That doesn't make it much better because everything feels like its taken kind of a nosedive since my last post, but we're holding on and I think there's only up from here. At the very least I don't think I'm going through any more meds increases for awhile. 

    The worst part of my consistently medically induced anxiety is that varying things have now become points of anxiousness. Spending money. Eating food. Getting out of my room. Interacting with my family. I'm now having nightmares and I barely dreamt before. Albeit my nightmares are very similar to the few dreams I do remember, which are incredibly mundane in nature. The consistent thread going through all of them is there being some kind of extreme stress in simple situations. Not knowing there was a project to be turned in, having to find a 7th roommate, having to choose what clothes to wear. Which were all the actual premises of dreams I've had. 

In the meantime I have my bass, and I have a pound of yarn that I'm trying to crochet into a scarf. 
    I've signed up for weekly bass lessons. Originally I was planning on going for guitar but I honestly think it'll be more beneficial for me to go in for bass lessons. I think I'll get more theory learning out of taking bass lessons. It also gives me a reasonable weekly pressure to work and practice. So here's to hoping that goes well.
    In the midst of my anxiety fuelled week and everything kind of being evil to attempt, crochet has been my peaceful escape. It started with me crocheting a single ball of yarn into a skinny scarf--which I had to redo because I thought I could make a thicker scarf, I couldn't. Now I'm planning on getting through a pound of yarn that I had bought years ago for a different project that I never actually followed through on. I have no clue what row I'm currently on but I'd say I'm making pretty okay progress. The pattern looks complex but its actually not too bad once you get used to the patterns. The techniques themselves are pretty simplistic and its incredibly repetitive, it just takes some time to wrap your head around it. This is also my second pass at making this pattern, I frogged the entirety of my first attempt. 

Scarf pattern from This Video

 

I should probably eat. I'm not letting myself play stardew with the gf without eating first.